Angelina Jolie Is Having Twins!

Star Magazine has just learned that the woman with the best DSL's ever, Angelina Jolie, will be giving birth to Twins! The births will happen sometime in July.

"Angelina and Brad will be adding two more girls to their growing family when Angie gives birth in July, Star has learned exclusively. And they are ecstatic at the news that they are having twin daughters. "Brad can't wait - he absolutely adores little girls," says a family insider. "And Angelina just loves seeing him and the other kids so excited and happy."

I am looking forward to being the creepy old man picking up on these two girls in 2026. I am already working on the pick up lines now. "Let's make like a squirrel. Can I bust a nut in your hole." Bingo there's a winner!